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Offline Related > Friends and Relationships > Relationship Problems Page: 1
yellowschwester
  11th December 2005 - 07:52 pm
 
Okay, so usually I'm not that kind of girl who tells everybody things which are non of their business but ... this time I just seriously need to talk about this and ... I need advices. Please.

So I've been with my bf for 4 months. And I've had strong feelings for him for about... 4 years. And well.. he's a very handsome guy and probably every girl I know had once had a crush on him.
And well... basically I have two groups of friends.. my classmates and the guys from the 12th grade. Chris doesn't really know the guys from the 12th grade and.. well it never bothered us because we thought it'd be quite good to have friends beside the person you're with. everything between me and Chris was perfect. Simply perfect.

He was at my place and then we left together on saturday he went to a friends house and I went to a party at a house of a friend from the 12th grade. Anyways... I drunk too much and was pretty well.. drunk. And then I kissed another guy. Who really likes me. He's cute and we've been friends for a while but... still... wtf?? What did I do?? I threw up a couple of times. But then they got me a taxi and I was at home pretty fast.

And today when I woke up I called Chris and told him what happened last night. He wasn't exactly happy, of course but still he said "I'm glad you told me." And then he said that we should talk tomorrow. Buuut... I just really had to see and meet him and I needed to try to explain what I did although I don't know by myself why the hell I did what I did.

So I met him an hour ago and ... he was so sad. He was close to tears. He told me that he had trusted me and .. that he would've never expect something like that. Because I'm not that kind of girl. Not at all. And he said: "I'm very doubtful right now." He claimed that he never was in such an important relationship before and that that really hurted him. I did. He also told me that on saturday another girl tried to make a pass at him and he said no because he'd never do something like that to me. )))); Well anyway.. he told me that he needs to sleep and think about everything again and ... left. Damn I'm so... nervous. I was crying all way home.

I told him that I'd do anything to make him trust me again and that he was the most important thing to me and everything.. but... well what am I supposed to do? Should I say something? What am I supposed to say?? Or should I leave him on his own so that he can think everything through??

I'm just so fucking scared... )));
  

Echoia
  11th December 2005 - 08:03 pm
 
Gosh. I don't know what to tell you but feel compelled to say SOMETHING.

If you realy care for him as much as you seem to and feel as badly about it as you say then this is a really big deal because you will always have this feeling and always remember it. A kiss is a kiss, was it just a kiss? A kiss is just a kiss. A drunk kiss is a drunk kiss- don't keep that in your head for the sake of playing off future drunk kisses but it really is not the same as going after someone and kissing them when your'e sober, you know? Or so I think... I've never had a drink so I can't speak from experience, just observation.

I've had boyfriends cheat on me BIG TIME. I mean, huge, can't-even-tell-you-here cheating on me and I forgave them. This is important- if he is going to forgive you he needs to decide to ACTUALLY forgive you. He can't let you be his girlfriend and say he forgives you and try to remind you of it all the time like, 'Remember how you hurt me, Berit?' He can't walk around wanting you to remember all the time that you messed up. People will do that in relationships because if he lets you forget he will feel like you 'got away' with 'cheating' on him. So he needs to be sure he can really forgive you. Do you understand what I'm saying?

And in the future, don't drink like that or i'll have to whoop you : (
  

lilvdzwan
  11th December 2005 - 08:04 pm
 
Birdy!!! :S
I really would like to help you out, but I can't see how...
I think you better leave him alone for a while... don't push it, because that usually just doesn't work... give him some time to think about everything, I know that's hard, but it's better for yourself too...
Just wait..... if he really cares, he now has to take the first step...
*hug*

I don't want to talk about my problems at this moment... :S
but trust me... I know what it's like not knowing what to do...

well... another *hug* for you girlie!
:S
  

yellowschwester
  11th December 2005 - 08:13 pm
 
Thank you girls.

I have no idea why i did it. it makes no sense. i love chris so much and .... aw... i messed up.

And Echo, I know what you mean. He has to forgive me. And I can't tell him to do so. I'm so nervous. He said he wanted to sleep and ... we're going to continue talking tomorrow. Then he kissed and huged me a couple of times and left. ); I'm feeling as if someone put me into a bad soap opera.

*hugs the girls*
Thank you honeys.
  

Ilaria
  11th December 2005 - 09:48 pm
 
aw I'm sorry you're going through this situation. I believe you should give him some time to think. I hope he will understand it was just a mistake. Good luck with everything, Berit. *hugs*
  

Mattness
  18th December 2005 - 05:40 pm
 
Okay so i tried to reply to this thread the other day but when i tried to submit it said it couldnt find www.vexels.net.. ookkayyy?? :S
Anyway.
What I think he really needs to know is that you are seriously sorry, as in really sorry with your heart, for what you have done and you wish you hadnt done it and never wanna do it again. (because thats how it is right?). you need to be open to him (wow that sounds like a guidebook, sorry lol.. im just giving my opinion though!) but you also need to give him time because i can also understand its hard for him.
and i had something else yesterday but i forgot it, sorry.
(oh and maybe its kinda weird for a guy to react to a thread like this.. but my relation just stopped after fourteen months yesterday so i thought id give you a bit of (maybe useless) advice to make sure you guys stay together for a loongg time.. err yeah i know im weird but i just felt like i should reply).
  

Echoia
  18th December 2005 - 05:50 pm
 
Grrr How is Berit? ~searches
  

Offline Related > Friends and Relationships > Relationship Problems Page: 1


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